Dudley enlightened
by trista21
Summary: Ever wonder what Dudley thinks about Harry? Dudley has always been jealous of him, and for good reason... to him anyway. Starts in OotP. Don't know how far it will last. P.s. He won't get any powers. Sorry! R&r please!


(Hello! I'll cut to the chase. I know that a story for Dudley is a little weird. I don't have any weird obsession with him or anything... In fact I don't like the character at all. So why am I writing a fanfic for him? I just wanted to. I had just started re-reading _the order of the phoenix_ and after the first three chapters, I couldn't help thinking 'what did Dudley think of all this?' Then it just nagged at me... What does Dudley think of all this? Not just getting attacked, but Harry going to school, leaving for months at a time, things, that might bother anyone. I honestly couldn't find a fanfic that goes into a realistic explanation for Dudley on this subject; many of the fics I found went about demonizing the character or creating sexual tension between him and his cousin. I couldn't take it anymore! I had to do something! So, I am. This fic starts in the 5th book, right before Harry and Dudley get attacked, and I don't know how far it will go. I hope you will review! I could use the help. I will be using quotes from the book, so in no way am I plagiarizing... You want to see MLA citation? Anywhoo, enjoy.)

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story... or at least, the first couple. I might make my own characters in later chapters... If I write later chapters. I commit to Nothing! Please don't sue! Harry potter characters are property of J.K. Rowling.

I know what my cousin thinks of me. He thinks I'm stupid. He thinks I'm mean... It's understandable. I'm a jerk. I like to have my own way. Is that so wrong? To have parents that love me? A family that gives me everything I want?

He'll never understand. He can't see my side of the argument. Never sees my side. He thinks he's better than me!

Ever sense I can remember, I've always been jealous of him. Me! Jealous of that scrawny, weak, jerk of a cousin!

Why? My am I so jealous? Why do I envy him... torture him as he has tortured me? Why...

XXX

The early august night air filled his lungs as he headed home with his friends Malcolm, Piers and Gordon. They were coming back from the end of Magnolia road after a day of imaging out in front of the library(he couldn't remember ever going in) and beating up that punk Steven Pretice after he tried to throw a rock at his head.

"That kid didn't know what was coming to him when he picked up that rock:" Gordon said as they came to the entrance of Magnolia Crescent. Dudley couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah he squealed like a pig, didn't he?" Malcolm said. It made everyone laugh.

Dudley punched his friend playfully on this right shoulder. Malcolm swayed and made a small sound of protest, but smiled apprehensively at him.

Dudley smiled.

"Nice right hook, Big D," said Piers.

Same time tomorrow?" Dudley asked.

"Round at my place, my parents are out," Gordon said.

_Looks like the night's done..._

"See you then," Dudley said, turning to walk down the deserted street. "Bye Dud!" Piers called after him. See ya big D!" Malcolm called too.He walked on along the brightly lit street, staring ahead.

After the sounds of his friends leaving the street faded, he started to feel a little uneasy. Little Whinging at night always made him feel this way. Maybe because at night the simple meritocracy of the homes and lawns changed into a multitude of different shades of light from tv sets dulled by closed shades and changed the whole feeling of normalcy that usually reigned in his neighborhood. He didn't like being alone... But was he?

_I don't think I'm alone..._

He hummed tunelessly to calm himself.

_Who would mess with me? I'm the junior Heavyweight Inter-school Boxing Champion of the Southeast_! 

His father and mother were so proud of him, and for once he felt as if he deserved it. It felt so much better to have a talent that could be applauded! His opponent was a tough guy. Many people even older than him had lost to him. He didn't. That calmed him more than the humming did. _Sure better than detention._

"Hey, Big D!"

Dudley snapped himself out of his trance and turned around.

"Oh," he grunted. "It's you."

Harry Potter. His first cousin.

He hated seeing him. He hardly did these days, and when he did it was just so Harry could mess with him. He doubted he was going to be left alone tonight either.

He hated Harry and his messy jet black hair that looked as if it had never felt a comb, his bright green eyes that hid a sharp glint, his scrawny, thin legs and wiry arms, but most of all, he hated the small, faded lightning bolt shaped scar above his temple, concealed by the shaggy hair and dark night. It was the scar that screamed out, '**_You'll never be like me!'_** every time he saw it. He didn't know why, but it made him angry.

"How long have you been 'Big D' then?" Harry asked as he drew level with him.

"Shut it," Dudley snarled, turning away.

_Here we go again._

"Cool name," Harry was saying, a mocking smile playing on his face. He had fallen into step with him. "But you'll always be Ickle Diddykins to me."

"I said SHUT IT!" He curled his hands into fists.

"Don't the boys know that's what your mum calls you?" Harry said.

"Shut your face."

You don't tell _her_ to shut her face. What about 'Popkin' and 'Dinky Diddydums'. Can I use them then?" harry asked, still smiling.

_What I wouldn't give to wipe the smile off that ass hole's face! Don't... He might get that... Thing out and give me another tail or something..._

He still had the scar from that day four years ago when he had to get a pig tail removed from the base of his spine. It had been put there by a great big man in the middle of a stormy night out in a small cottage in the middle of the ocean. He didn't see Harry again until next year, even though Harry hadn't left for almost a month after Dudley got his tail. He was avoiding him. Afraid the giant would come back and finish the job.

Harry, after a short pause, started talking again. "So who've you been beating up tonight?" He asked. The mocking smile was fading from his lips. "Another ten year old? I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago-"

"He was asking for it," Dudley snarled, cutting Harry off.

"Oh yeah?" Harry sounded skeptical.

"He cheeked me."

He had. The kid was trying to stop him from destroying a swing in the park. In his opinion, Mark deserved the punches in the ribs he got.

"Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that's been taught to walk on it's hind legs? Cause that's not cheek, Dud. That's true..."

Dudley knew he was just trying to provoke him. Ever sense he'd been going to that school, he'd been sassing Dudley, and he had no real way of retaliating. Harry had a... you know what, and even if he didn't use it, he could still get his godfather to attack him. He was an escaped convict who'd killed people. Or, sick the giant on him. He even had friends who were willing to drive a car through their house to 'save him' from being grounded.

_But he does have a... you know what_. 

"Think you're such a big man carrying that thing, don't you?" Dudley said after a few seconds.

"What thing?"

"That- thing you're hiding."

_There goes that stupid grin again._

"Not as stupid as you look, are you Dud? But I s'pose if you were you wouldn't be able to walk and talk at the same time."

Harry pulled out the wand, he could see from the side of his head.

"You're not allowed," Dudley said, "I know you're not. You'd get expelled from that freak school you go to." _I love that rule!_

"How d'you know they haven't changed the rules, Big D?"

_They didn't!_

"They haven't," said Dudley, more to himself than to Harry.

Harry laughed softly.

"You haven't got the guts to take me on without that thing, have you?"

_I know he won't, the big coward_. 

"Whereas you need four mates to beat up a ten year old. You know that boxing title you keep banging on about? How old was your opponent? Seven? Eight?"

"He was sixteen for your information, and he was out cold for twenty minutes after I'd finished with him and he was twice as heavy as you. You wait till I tell Dad you had that thing out-"

"Running to Daddy now, are you? Is his Ickle boxing champ frightened of nasty Harry's wand?"

Dudley was about to respond but he suddenly remembered something he had heard last night as he went past Harry's room. He could hear moaning. As he got closer, he realized Harry was having a pretty violent nightmare from the sound of it. He was thrashing and twisting, crying out to someone about not killing someone named 'Cedric'. He was pleading with his parents to stop it.

"Not this Brave at night, are you?" Dudley sneered.

"This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this."

_Let's see him sass me when I tell him what I heard!_

"I mean when you're in bed!" Dudley snarled. He stopped waling. He looked back at Harry's half shadowed face. He didn't look happy. In fact he looked pale.

"What d'you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" Harry said, trying to smile. "What, am I supposed to be frightened of pillows or something?"

"I heard you last night," Dudley said, Slightly breathless. Talking in your sleep. _Moaning_. ."

What d'you mean?" Harry had completely given up trying to smile. That expression told him that he didn't like where this conversation was going.

_Bingo!_

He laughed. "'Don't kill Cedric! Don't kill Cedric!' Who's Cedric- your boyfriend?"

The shocked expression on Harry's face was priceless. He was momentarily stunned to silence. _Guess it isn't all disappearing rabbits and flying broomsticks at that freak school he goes to!_

"I- You're lying-" Harry stammered quietly. He looked slightly sick.

_It's been a long time since I could make him make that face... Too long._ He was going to make the most of it. He was going to prove to this orphan _he_ was not better than him. _He's pathetic!_

"Dad! Help me, Dad! He's gong to kill me, Dad! Boo-hoo!"

He could have thought about what he was saying. The implications from the dream had been traumatizing, to say the least. Harry screaming fruitlessly for his parents to save him from someone who had just killed someone else in front of him. He _knew_ his parents had been killed by someone when Harry was a baby. He even knew that someone had tried to kill the infant Harry, too. Even _he_ could see the scar from that night's horrible events etched across his cousin's brow.

He didn't care. It was Harry's dark past that angered him the most. It made him special in a way that Dudley could never be. A surviver.

He felt like he could never survive alone. Harry did it almost from birth.

"Shut up," Harry said quietly. He looked cold, angry. "Shut up, Dudley, I'm warning you!"

Dudley didn't care... He didn't heed Harry's words of warning. He was enjoying himself too much.

"'Come and help me, Dad! Mum, come and help me! He's killed Cedric! Dad, help me! He's going to-' _Don't point that thing at me!_ "

Harry had raised his wand. Dudley backed into the alley wall. Harry had a strangely reckless anger playing across his face. In the darkness the expression was terrifying. The wand was pointed at his heart.

"Don't ever talk about that again," Harry snarled into the small distance between them. "D'you understand me?"

The wand tip sparked red.

"Point that thing somewhere else!"

"I said, _do you understand me?_ "

" _Point it somewhere else!_ "

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

The wand tip sparked again.

He's going to kill me! 

"Get that THING AWAY FROM-"

Suddenly the world turned black and Dudley had the sensation of being doused into cold water. The light had been sucked out of the world. The sounds of the neighborhood at night had stopped. All he cold hear was the fast beat of his frightened heart, and a faint pounding, as if from memory, in his ears.

He stumbled forward, searching the darkness for his cousin. Stop it! He didn't deserve this! Going blind just because Harry couldn't take a joke.

"W-what are you doing? St-stop it!"

"I'm not doing anything! Shut up and don't move!" Harry's voice sounded close. It was sharp, commanding.

The pounding was getting louder, the faint spatter of a long ago storm coupling it.

want my dad! 

"I'll tell Dad!" He whimpered into the darkness. He didn't know where Harry went.

"W-where are you? What are you d-do-?"

Harry cut him off.

"Will you shut up? Harry hissed, "I'm trying to lis-"

He fell silent.

_What is that noise?_ Louder than the pounding in his ears he could make out a low, hoarse rattle of breath coming from somewhere close.

_He called someone to kill me?_

The darkness had turned icy cold. He had to make Harry stop!

"Cut it out! Stop doing it! I'll hit you, I swear I will!"

The pounding, the rain, the freezing darkness was driving him insane. How could he hear the rain and not feel it?

He felt into the darkness.

_Why can't I see?_

"Dudley, shut-" Dudley found him and did the only thing he could think of to stop him. Hit him.

He heard Harry cry out as his fist collided with the side of his face. The thick freezing darkness was suffocating him. He ran. He couldn't hear what Harry was screaming at him.

_A curse! He's gong to curse me!_

The pounding was rising in his ears, the non existent rain rattled his brain.

"DUDLEY, COME BACK! YOU'RE RUNNING RIGHT AT IT!"

_He's not controlling it?_ What was he running at?

Suddenly he felt all the happiness he ever had leave him. He collided with the darkness.

His frantic mind couldn't understand how he could do that.

Suddenly he felt a clammy, strong, cold hand grasp one of his arms. He squealed in pain.

The pounding seemed to increase suddenly. He could barely hear Harry screaming behind him... " _DUDLEY, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! WHATEVER YOU DO, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!_ "

Dudley lashed out against the hand holding him and felt it release. He ran backwards and stumbled, falling to his stomach. The pounding and rain seemed to beat mercilessly against his head. _He's coming back... To turn me into a pig!_ He curled up on the ground, covering his chest. Something was hovering above him.

Somehow he _knew_ to cover his mouth. He raised his hands to clamp his moth closed. He couldn't even scream.

Something strong and cold was prying at his arms, trying to force him to let go.

The pounding and rain had reached a fever pitch. The sound of a low rattling breath sucking inward filled the expanse left in his mind.

_I'll never... be happy again._

He didn't hear Harry's call. He didn't hear him shout 'EXPECTO PATRONUM' behind him. All he could see was a blinding flash of white and a silver hoof soundlessly charge into the darkness with hands, releasing him.

All the cold left him. He was left quivering on the ground.

(And that's the end of that chapter! I hope you liked it! Can you guess what I think is Dudley's worst memory? If you guess correctly in a review, you get a cookie! So, please review to get the cookie. I don't want to give them all to Santa Claus. He never gives me any good gifts.)


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